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| Bush Memo to 9/11 Commission: Here Are My Instructions!!! |
| 03.31.04 (10:07 am) [edit] |
[b]To:[/b] 9/11 Commission ([i]You're Doing Just Fine At Accepting My Conditions Unconditionally[/i]!)
[b]From:[/b] Dubya, Numero Uno ([i]America's 1st Leige & Emperor[/i]!)
[b]Subject:[/b] Here Are My[i] Instructions[/i]!!!
Gotcha'!!! [i]Just kidding[/i]!!! ([i]Or Am I[/i]???) He He He!!!
Let me express My profound appreciation to you for accepting unconditionally my conditions for letting My Queen Condi [i]deign to appear before you [/i]in public and testify[i] a little, [/i]under oath!!! ... However, you cannot ask her a 2nd time ([i]you've got 1 shot ... if there are any discrepancies, tough banana[/i]!) -- you cannot have more than one "[i]note-taker[/i]" ([i]ooopppsss, that's when I'm giving my story [/i]...)-- and you cannot ask anyone else in the White House to corroborate [i]or not[/i], any differences between My Queen Condi's story and that of the scum-bag turn-coat Richard Clarke -- no one else from My Loyal Neo-Con Gang in the White House will have to swear under oath and testify in public.
Here are My neo-imperial [i]instructions [/i]for your interview, [i]with reverent obeisance[/i] of course, of My Queen Condi:
1. Let Queen Condi[i] see the questions beforehand [/i]to make damn sure that they are respectful ([i]you can do it 'under-the-table' ... ooopppsss ... I mean unofficially [/i]...) ...
2. Once Queen Condi has answered, there are to be [i]no serious follow-up[/i] questions ...
3. If Queen Condi says something, [i]you are to report to the media that you believe her[/i], and not Richard Clarke ...
Many thanks [i]again [/i]for your[i] co-operation [/i]...
. Dubya, Numero Uno.
P.S. Thanks also for accepting that my [i]behind-closed-doors [/i]meeting with you all will be a [i]joint [/i]session with Dick Cheney in order to keep our stories straight. Karl Rove wouldn't let me testify [i]alone[/i] ... Thank goodness that I don't have to testify under oath ... I really [i]want[/i] to go to heaven!!!
P.P.S. Let's wrap this charade up before the end of the summer. I'm doing just fine with my $200 million war-chest at beating Kerry's butt ... Although Diebold Electronic Voting Machine's CEO Walden O'Dell has pledged to get me re-elected [i]anyway[/i] ... But it's [i]fun, fun, fun [/i]to keep that liberal scum-bag traitor off the airways ... After all, I, Numero Uno, am the [i]only one [/i]who knows what is best for America!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * [i]satire based on facts [/i]* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[b]Topical Sources[/b]:
What if Condi Rice contradicts Richard Clarke - the 9/11 Commission can't follow-up!, http://www.talkingpointsmemo....
Rice to Testify in Public Under Oath - With Lots of Caveats from the White House, http://story.news.yahoo.com/n...
Pressure mounts on Bush aide, http://www.iht.com/articles/5...
Voting Machine Controversy (Diebold Electronic Voting & CEO Walden O'Dell Committed to Bush re-election), http://www.commondreams.org/h...
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| Bush Memo to '60 Minutes': You Better Be Good to My Queen Condi, Or Else!!! |
| 03.27.04 (6:05 pm) [edit] |
[b]To:[/b] '60 Minutes' ([i]You're Already In My Little Black Book of Shits For Having Interviewed Richard Clarke![/i])
[b]From:[/b] Dubya, Numero Uno ([i]America's 1st Liege & Emperor And Don't You Forget It[/i]!)
[b]Subject:[/b] You [i]Better[/i] Be Good to My Queen Condi, [i]Or Else[/i]!!!
Listen you dumb bastards, you've made [i]life hell [/i]for My beautiful Queen Condi, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you get away with it!!!
How dare you interview that scum-bag and dead-man: Richard Clarke!!![i] So what [/i]if he revealed that we didn't listen to warnings of pending terrorist attacks upon America coming from that[i] liberal slime-bag [/i]Clinton or from [i]subordinate low-lifes [/i]in the [i]bowels [/i]of the CIA, FBI or National Security Agency!!!
Queen Condi and I, Numero Uno have [i]better things [/i]to do than waste our time on stupid minutiae, when instead we're pre-occupied with our grandiose plans for our Global Corporate Empire and Ruling the World & [i]Mars, too[/i]!!! [[i]That is, when we're not watching football, basketball or baseball games together, one of our favorite pastimes ... The other is ... ooopppsss, I better not say, for Laura's sake ...[/i]]
Taking over Iraq is [i]Step 1[/i] in our Imperial Plan that our Neo-Con Geniuses have come-up with for our glorious World Domination...[i] Step 2[/i] is Syria and Iran ... [i]Step 3[/i] is the entire Middle East ... [i]Step 4[/i] is Asia Pacific ... [i]Step 5[/i] is Europe ... [i]Step 6 [/i]is Central and South America ... [i]Step 7 [/i]is Mars ... and then: I'll be Master of the Universe, with My Queen Condi at my side, [i]where she belongs [/i]... [i]Shit[/i], I [i]forgot [/i]all about Russia ... [i]Shit[/i], I've also [i]forgotten[/i] Canada and all those little islands in the[i] big, big, big [/i]oceans ... I'll have to get Cheney, Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz back on re-jigging these [i]Steps[/i] ...[i] I'll need another plan[/i] ... But [i]who[/i] says we don't have plans??? ... [i]We've got lots of plans!!! ... [/i] (Just ask Halliburton and the Carlyle Group!!!) ...
So, you [i]better be good[/i] to My Queen Condi, [i]or else[/i]!!! Don't forget that after this god-damned inconvenient election in November ([i]... It's all window-dressing ... I've already got it locked-up[/i]! ...), I'm going to need [i]alot[/i] more US soldiers for all of my Imperial Conquest War [i]Steps[/i] ([i]see above[/i]) ... [i]So[/i], if [u]you[/u] [i]don't want to be sent [/i]to Afghanistan or Iraq or Syria or Iran ... or if [u]you[/u][i] don't want your kids to be sent[/i] over there, you just [i]better[/i] show plenty of respect ([i]and I mean reverent, fawning obeisance ... she likes that![/i]) to My Queen Condi and [i][b]let her do the talking[/b][/i]!!!
. Dubya, Numero Uno.
P.S. And don't forget: [i]No Lip, No Backtalk, No Sass[/i]!!!
P.P.S. I haven't figured out [i]as yet [/i]the [i]punishment[/i] for your unforgivable transgression of interviewing Richard Clarke ... But I may be calling a meeting with the FCC soon, so [i]beware[/i]!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * [i]satire based on facts [/i]* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[b]Topical Sources:[/b]
CBS Sixty Minutes, Transcript of Interview with Richard Clarke, http://www.sadlyno.com/archiv...
Rice Takes to Airwaves in Counterattack on Clarke, http://wireservice.wired.com/...
Kerry Slams White House Attack on Clarke, http://story.news.yahoo.com/n...
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| Bush Memo to Karl Rove:-- I've Got Another Great Joke!!! |
| 03.27.04 (8:28 am) [edit] |
[b]To:[/b] Karl Rove, Spin-Meister Extra-Ordinaire ([i]You're Pretty Funny, Too[/i]!)
[b]From:[/b] Dubya, Numero Uno ([i]Emperor Joke-Meister[/i]!)
[b]Subject:[/b] I've Got [i]Another [/i]Great Joke!!!
Boy, was I a [i]big hit[/i] Thursday night, or what ... You should have heard them [i]roar[/i] ... I'm a [i]funny, funny, funny [/i]guy ... I've got the [i]knack [/i]for tellin' them whoppers!!! He He He!!!
To[i] hell [/i]with those god-damned liberal scum-bag families of our soldiers who died in Iraq complaining that [i]joking about missing WMDs in Iraq [/i]is in bad taste and insensitive ... [i]Hell,[/i] our soldiers go to fight and die for [i]Me, Numero Uno[/i], not for those god-damned missing WMDs [i]anyway[/i] ... We never expected anyone to believe our cute neo-cons' WMDs joke [i]anyway[/i], [i]did we[/i]???
Forget about those overly-sensitive critical assholes ... I've got [i]another big joke [/i]for my next public appearance for you to vet (since [i]you won't let me [/i]make jokes extemporaneously, especially after my funny spoof aboard the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln where I delivered my hilarious whopper about our "Mission Accomplished!" in Iraq:-- [i]Nobody "got" that one ... They all really took it seriously ... Dummies ...[/i]) ...
Here it goes:--
...... I pay a surprise visit over to Baghdad on 30 June, the day that we're supposed to hand-over sovereignty to the Iraqi people, and I [i]pop-out of a cake [/i]and shout: "[i]APRIL FOOLS[/i]"!!! ... He He He!!! ......
What do you think??? ... I'm [i]brilliant[/i], huh??? ... (Of course, you'll have to figure out some other [i]"gotcha phrase" [/i]since it'll be[i] June[/i], [i]not April[/i]-- but you get my point, right).
[i]Funny, funny, funny [/i]huh, Karl!!! That'll [i]really[/i] get 'em!!!
. Dubya, Numero Uno.
P.S. Remind those unpatriotic American scum-bags who are criticizing me: [i]Theirs is to do or die, and not to question why[/i]!!! ... Don't forget to tell those ungrateful Iraqi shits the same thing ...
P.P.S. By the way, [i]is [/i]there any difference between a whopper and a joke???[i] Hmmm [/i]...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * [i]satire based on facts [/i]* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[b]Topical Sources[/b]:
Bush Jokes About Search for WMD, But It's No Laughing Matter for Critics, http://www.commondreams.org/h...
Bush Memo to Condi Rice: What is the definition of 'Sovereignty'?, http://www.tblog.com/template...
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| Bush Memo to Condi Rice: What is the definition of 'Sovereignty'? |
| 03.23.04 (8:49 am) [edit] |
[b]To:[/b] Condi Rice, My Queen ([i]National Security's Piece-of-Ass[/i])
[b]From:[/b] Dubya, Numero Uno ([i]Your Liege-and-Emperor, Who Will Protect My Queen's Ass[/i])
[b]Subject:[/b] What is the[i] definition [/i]of '[u]Sovereignty[/u]'?
We had better [i]check-out [/i]the dictionary definition of the word: '[u]Sovereignty[/u]' ... and we might have to get all of the dictionaries[i] in the world [/i]changed to use the following definition:
[u]Sovereignty[/u], n. "1. The state of being under Dubya, Numero Uno's control. 2. The supreme power in a state, so long as Dubya, Numero Uno controls it. 3. The status or dominion of a sovereign." ...
[u]A Sovereign[/u]: n. Dubya, Numero Uno.
I don't want any [i]controversy[/i] concerning my [i]fun, fun, fun [/i]neo-con plans to stay in Iraq until Halliburton, Bechtel, Carlyle Group, Unocal, Big Oil, and the Military Industrial Complex have had their chance to reap all of those [i]big, big, big [/i]capitalist profits that are my ([i]ooopppsss ... their ... ooopppsss ... our[/i]) due!!!
Get back [i]on me[/i] ([i]ooopppsss ... to me[/i]) ASAP ...
. Dubya, Numero Uno.
P.S. After all, if a president ([i]I prefer the title Emperor ... see what the dictionaries can do about the definition of president = Emperor ...[/i]) can't lavish favors on his cronies, what is the [i]point[/i]??? That's the [i]American Way[/i]!!!
P.P.S. Remind them all too, that: [i]America = Dubya, Numero Uno [/i]and [i]Dubya, Numero Uno = America [/i]... Do you think you could get the dictionaries to incorporate my new definitions by June 30???
* * * * * * * * * * * * * [i]satire based on facts [/i]* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[b]Topical Source[/b]:
U.S. will retain power in Iraq after transfer of sovereignty, http://www.boston.com/dailyne...:.shtml
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| VP Dick Cheney Memo to Karl Rove: FUCK Anybody Who Doesn't Worship Dubya, Numero Uno! |
| 03.21.04 (3:45 pm) [edit] |
[b]To:[/b] Karl Rove, Spin-Meister-ExtraOrdinai re ([i]Dubya's [u]Left[/u] Side of His Empty Brain[/i])
[b]From:[/b] VP Dick Cheney ([i]Dubya's [u]Right[/u] Side of His Empty Brain[/i])
[b]Subject:[/b] [i][b]FUCK[/b] Anybody Who [b]Doesn't Worship [/b]Dubya, Numero Uno![/i]
[b][u]We've[/u] got the BIG MONEY [/b]... The Democrat [b]FUCKERS[/b] have [i]NO MONEY [/i]... Let's[b] FUCK [/b]THESE SHITS OVER, BIG TIME!!! Who the hell do they think they are??? They should be [i]bowing-down [/i]before Dubya, Numero Uno and that[i] liberal scum-bag [/i]Kerry should be declaring his [i]undying obeisance and worship [/i]of Dubya, Numero Uno!!! [b]FUCK[/b] the liberal SHITS for [i]daring to run [/i]against our imperial noble Herr Fuhrer Dubya, Numero Uno!!!
Herr Fuhrer Hitler or was it Herr Fuhrer Dubya, Numero Uno who said "[i]One word I have never learned: that is, surrender. - There can be no neutral ground[/i]." Both are my saviours and both are my heros!!!
. VP Dickey-boy Cheney ([i][b]Quack-Quack Scalia's ATM[/b][/i])
P.S. Tell my [i]best-buddy-n-crony [/i]Scalia to send anybody off to our concentration camp at Guantanamo Bay who doesn't worship in the New American Faith: [i]Project-for-the-New-Am erican-Century-(PNAC)-Acc ording-to-the-Mad-King-Ge orge[/i] http://pnac.info/ ... Brought to you by the Carlyle Group!!! http://www.tblog.com/template...
P.P.S. Copy To Herr Fuhrer Dubya, Numero Uno ... I MUST KEEP IN HIS MAJESTY'S GOOD GRACES ... [b]FUCK!!![/b]
* * * * * * * * * * * * * [i]satire based on facts [/i]* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[b]Topical Sources:[/b]
Address by Adolf Hitler - September 1, 1939, http://fcit.coedu.usf.edu/hol...
Bush hails sacrifice on Veterans Day, http://www.cnn.com/2003/ALLPO...
The logic of dictatorship: Bush demands workers sacrifice rights to “homeland security", http://www.wsws.org/articles/...
Sierra Club: Response to Justice Scalia's Denial of Recusal Motion in Cheney Case, http://www.commondreams.org/n...
Exposed: The Carlyle Group, http://www.tblog.com/template...
Exposing: Neo-Con's Neo-Hitlerian Project For The New American Century (PNAC), http://pnac.info/
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| Karl Rove to WH Speech-Writers: A Vote for Bush is a Vote for GOD, A Vote for Kerry is a Vote for... |
| 03.20.04 (8:08 am) [edit] |
[b]To:[/b] White House Speech-Writers ([i]Dubya's Brains & Mouthpieces[/i]!)
[b]From:[/b] Karl Rove, Herr Spin-Meister-ExtraOrdinai re ([i]America's Joseph Goebbles[/i]!)
[b]Subject:[/b] [i]A Vote for Bush is a Vote for GOD, A Vote for Kerry is a Vote for ...[/i]
New [i]marching orders[/i], my fellow speech-writers, brains and mouth-pieces for Herr Fuhrer Dubya, Numero Uno, are being formulated as you draft all of the neo-con's ideas, speeches and responses that are [i]boiler-plated [/i]for our illustrious leaders.
Make sure that Dubya, Cheney, Rice, Rumsfeld, Powell and everyone else involved in the creation of our 1000-year reich include the following in their public statements, henceforth:--
... A Vote for Bush is a [i]Vote[/i] for [i]GOD[/i].
... A Vote for Kerry is a [i]Vote[/i] for:
1.) Al Qaida, Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein
2.) Terrorists, Suicide-Bombers, America-Haters
3.) Traitors Who Want the Destruction of America
4.) Appeasers, Collaborators, Terrorist-Lovers
5.) Mass-Murderers, War Criminals, Serial-Killers
6.) Paedophiles, Sex Perverts, Homos
7.) Liars, Thieves and Rapists
Get [i]as many of these [/i]into speeches as well as to our buddies in the media and the press, [i]ASAP[/i]!
Remember, there is no "[i]neutral ground[/i]" -- Tell Americans that "[i]you're either with us or against us[/i]" -- Anyone who doesn't love Dubya, Herr Fuhrer as [i]GOD[/i], and who refuses to put Dubya, Numero Uno [i]before their own life and the lives of their own family [/i]is a traitor, a terrorist and an enemy.
Karl Rove, Herr Spin-Meister-ExtraOrdinai re.
P.S. [i]Tell our buddies over at World Net Daily, Matt Drudge, The Weekly Standard, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, William Safire, Charles Krauthammer and the rest:[/i]-- that John McCain and John Kerry didn't really go fight and risk their lives in Vietnam. Tell 'em that McCain wasn't really a POW. Tell 'em that Kerry didn't really serve in 3 tours of duty and wasn't really wounded. [b]Tell 'em that McCain and Kerry were really [i]lovers in a dirty Homo Gay Tryst in Hong Kong at the time [/i]... [i]Americans will believe it, if we repeat it over and over and over again [/i]... That'll fix 'em!!![/b]
P.P.S.[i] Hell-Shit-Fuck[/i]: If none of that [i]works[/i], good ole' Jeb has promised us a repeat of Florida 2000!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * [i]satire based on facts [/i]* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[b]Topical Sources:[/b]
Bush-Approved Lie About Kerry's Support for the Troops, http://www.buzzflash.com/cont...
US 'appeasement' [intimidation & coercion] warning to Spain, http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wo...
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| Bush Memo to Dick Cheney: Tell John McCain to Shut-up!!! |
| 03.18.04 (4:46 pm) [edit] |
[b]To:[/b] Dick Cheney, Veep-and-Nasty-Guy ([i]Makes Me, Numero Uno, Look Nice[/i]!)
[b]From:[/b] Dubya, Numero Uno ([i]Smarter Than I Look: They MisUnderEstimate Me[/i]!)
[b]Subject:[/b] Tell John McCain to [i]Shut-up[/i]!!!
Dick, will you and Condi go do a "[i]strong-arm[/i]" on John McCain and remind him that if he wants to remain in the G.O.P. ([i]and if he wants to continue living[/i]): then he had better [i]shut-up[/i]!!!
[i]Firstly[/i], McCain [i]really[/i] wants his intelligence committee on the Iraq WMDs "intelligence failures" to [i]really[/i] ask[i] real [/i]questions, even of Me, Numero Uno and Queen Condi!!! http://www.consortiumnews.com... Outrageous!!!
[i]Now[/i], McCain is contradicting us and saying that John Kerry ([i]liberal scumbag who we will destroy with our $200+ million war-on-America war-chest[/i]) is[i][b] not [/b][/i]weak on defense!!! http://story.news.yahoo.com/n... Outrageous!!!
Doesn't that [i]mother-f*cker [/i]McCain understand this is [i]campaign-time [/i]and that[i] facts aren't worth sh*t[/i]???:-- It's about [i]destroying[/i] Kerry and we're gonna' [i]win anyway[/i]!!! Brother Jeb has confirmed this with Walden O'Dell, CEO over at [i]Diebold Electronic Voting Machines[/i], http://www.commondreams.org/h... who is a good buddy, affirming that [i]he'll do [i]anything [/i]to get us back in the White House in 2005[/i]!!!
So remind McCain[i] to keep his fat trap shut [/i]if he wants to [i]keep his arms and legs [/i]and not end-up like that stupid slob, Max Cleland http://www.salon.com/news/fea... ([i]dumb enough to be sent to Vietnam, unlike Me, Numero Uno: http://www.awolbush.com/ smart enough to avoid battle and danger completely. I'm a genius 'cause I got out of serving, unlike those stupid dupes like McCain, Cleland and Kerry who went and fought in Vietnam![/i])!!!
Dubya, Numero Uno. ([i]Ain't Democracy Wonderful[/i]?)
P.S. Perhaps when we re-institute the draft in 2005 http://www.bushdraft.com/proo... for our [i]fun, fun, fun [/i]neo-con wars in Syria, Iran and Libya, http://www.haaretzdaily.com/h... we can send McCain back into battle!!! Remind him of[i] that: that [/i]should fix him!!!
P.P.S. After all, Halliburton, Bechtel, the Carlyle Group and others in our[i] wonderful [/i]Military Industrial Complex need our [i]fun, fun, fun [/i]neo-con wars for war-profits to keep their investors ([i]Poppy, Jeb, Neil, you, Condi & Me, Numero Uno[/i]) [i]happy, happy, happy[/i]!!! http://www.tblog.com/template...
P.P.P.S. Get me some [i]more [/i]military costumes: I [i]luv, luv, luv [/i]dressing-up like a Top-Gun ([i]I never did it before[/i]!)!!! http://bartcopnation.com/dc/d...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * [i]satire based on facts [/i]* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[b]Topical Sources:[/b]
McCain Says Kerry Not Weak on Defense, http://story.news.yahoo.com/n...
Bush's Iraq Getaway, http://www.consortiumnews.com...
Seeking subpoenas, http://www.thehill.com/news/0...
Voting Machine Controversy, http://www.commondreams.org/h...
"The president ought to be ashamed", Max Cleland, http://www.salon.com/news/fea...
GW Bush Went AWOL, http://www.awolbush.com/
"The PROOF Bush wants a draft!", http://www.bushdraft.com/proo...
Sharon says U.S. should also disarm Iran, Libya and Syria, http://www.haaretzdaily.com/h...
Exposed: The Carlyle Group ..., http://www.tblog.com/template...
"Bush's latest commercials are a violation of military regs", http://bartcopnation.com/dc/d...
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| Karl Rove Memo to Dubya: We'll Tell 'Em That If They Don't Vote Bush, They're For Terrorists!!! |
| 03.15.04 (5:33 pm) [edit] |
[b]To:[/b] Dubya, Numero Uno ([i]At Least That's Our Story[/i])
[b]From:[/b] Karl Rove, Spin-Meister Extraordinare ([i]I Can Fool All of the People, All of the Time[/i])
[b]Subject:[/b] [i]We'll Tell 'Em That If They Don't Vote Bush, They're For Terrorists!!![/i]
This is getting [i]too[/i] easy ... It was a little more[i] fun, fun, fun [/i]when it took some imagination to[i] fool all of the people, all of the time[/i] ... Now,[i] anything [/i]we say is being bought-n-believed[i] lock-stock-and-smoking-ba rrel [/i]by our media buddies, radio jocks, court-jesters and congressional politicos who simply want a few favors in return for paying homage to our [i]spins, spins, spins[/i] ... Ha Ha Ha ...
[i]Easier than taking candy from a baby[/i]??? ... Americans are[i] easier to fool [/i]than babies ... Babies [i]cry [/i]when you take away their candy ... Americans simply nod, smile, eat their BigMacs and Cheetos, and [i]repeat our boiler-plate rationales verbatim ... Sometimes I simply can't believe it!!![/i] ... Ha Ha Ha ...
Over 90% of the Spanish people opposed our wonderful war in Iraq. But our buddy Prime Minister Aznar did what we ordered, and until the terrorist attack in Madrid last week, the Spanish had calmed down about their citizens being sent to Iraq. The election was a disappointment, but believe me, Dubya: [i]It ain't gonna' hurt us cause we've simply spread around that the Spanish people are cowards for caving into terrorists [/i]... Ha Ha Ha ...
The fact that the Spaniards overwhelmingly hate you Dubya (by a whopping 80%) -- the fact that they were enraged by Aznar misleading them into Iraq -- the fact that they were angry because they thought that Aznar wasn't playing straight regarding those responsible for their [i]own[/i] terrorist attack -- the fact that they don't want to be[i] cannon-fodder [/i]for a war they say is illegal, based on lies, and is a messy fiasco ... Hmmm ... [i]Don't worry: Americans don't care ... Americans don't pay attention to details ... Hell, Americans don't even trust details [/i]... Ha Ha Ha ...
[b]We'll just tell 'em all that if they don't vote for Bush, [i]they're for terrorists[/i]!!! Terrorists will have "[i]won[/i]" if they vote for Kerry!!! ... Ha Ha Ha ...[/b]
Herr Karl Rove, [i]America's Joseph Goebbles and Proud Of It[/i]!!!
P.S. You'll win in a landslide, Dubya. 'Cause I'm the [i]Boy Genius [/i]who can [i]Fool All of the People, All of the Time[/i]!!! Ha Ha Ha!!! ...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * [i]satire based on facts [/i]* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[b]Topical Sources:[/b]
Spanish People Put In Place A Government Who Respects Their Will!!! ..., http://www.tblog.com/template...
Terrorists Didn't Throw Spanish Election:-- Voters Simply Say No More To Insane Bush Doctrine!!! ..., http://www.tblog.com/template...
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| Bush Memo to RNC Chairman: Let's Accuse Kerry of Lying About WMDs in Iraq!!! |
| 03.11.04 (4:58 pm) [edit] |
[b]To:[/b] Ed Gillespie, RNC Chairman ([i]Propaganda King-Fisher[/i])
[b]From:[/b] Dubya, Numero Uno ([i]1st American Emperor & "Do-As-I-Say/Not-As-I-Do" Liege[/i])
[b]Subject:[/b] Let's Accuse Kerry of [i]Lying[/i] About WMDs in Iraq!!!
[b]You guys over at RNC HQ [i]aren't doing so hot [/i]at implementing my great ideas:--[/b]
Firstly, my[i] fantastic brain-storm [/i]of tellin' 'em all across America that Kerry flip-flops seems to be [i]backfiring[/i]. Too many liberal scumbag reports of [i]our own flip-flopping [/i]are creeping out of the "wood-work". I'm even bein' called the "[i]biggest flip-flopper of them all[/i]"!!! http://www.tblog.com/template... !!!
Secondly, my [i]brilliant notion [/i]of demanding an apology from Kerry for callin' us all liars seems to be [i]backfiring, too[/i] http://www.tblog.com/template... . Too many liberal scumbags are callin' him up and warmly congratulating him-- and also they're drudging up [i]my own "asshole" insult[/i] of that goddamned reporter!!! http://www.tblog.com/template... !!!
So, finally, I've got a [i]brand spanking new fantastic, brilliant order [/i]for ya'll: [u]Let's Accuse Kerry of [i]Lying[/i] About WMDs in Iraq[/u]!!!
Let's tell the American people that the war in Iraq was 'cause[i] Kerry [/i]went around telling everybody that there were WMDs posing an [i]imminent threat [/i]to our national security!!!
[b]What do you think???[/b]
Numero Uno & Top-Brain.
P.S. My [i]nobel-prize winning plan [/i]to use 9/11 victims' coffins in my campaign ads also seems to be a [i]problem that is backfiring against us[/i]!!! http://www.tblog.com/template... . [b]Who can we [i]blame[/i] for that one??? How about [i]Kerry[/i]???[/b]
* * * * * * * * * * * * * [i]satire based on facts [/i]* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[b]Topical Sources:[/b]
Telling It Like It Is:-- Kerry Calls GOP Liars ..., http://www.tblog.com/template...
Lest We Forget ..., http://www.tblog.com/template...
The Real Flip-Flopper, http://www.tblog.com/template...
Majority of Americans Disapprove of Bush's Exploitation of 9/11 Victims, http://www.tblog.com/template...
GOP Hypocrite of the Week: RNC Chairman Ed Gillespie, http://www.buzzflash.com/edit...
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| Bush Memo to Queen Condi: Are We Alone? At Last! |
| 03.09.04 (5:49 pm) [edit] |
[b]To:[/b] Queen Condi, National Security's Top Ass ([i]Too Hot To Handle[/i]!)
[b]From:[/b] Dubya, Numero Uno ([i]Afraid To Be Alone[/i]!)
[b]Subject:[/b] Are We Alone? [i]At Last[/i]!
I haven't heard anything from [b]Karl Rove [/b]in a long time. Has he been [i]frog-marched off to jail [/i]yet? Hell, I don't know what the FBI is [i]keyed-up about[/i]: Valerie Plame and her scum-bag husband Joseph C. Wilson IV are expendable! Karl Rove is [i]not[/i]!
I haven't heard anything from [b]Dick Cheney [/b]in a long time. I've seen him on TV attacking that liberal asshole Kerry! He's doing a good job, but I'm afraid of him being picked-up on those Halliburton-related bribery charges. Let's make sure he [i]doesn't take any trips abroad [/i][u]before[/u] the November election!
Without [b]Rove[/b] ([i]the left side of my brain[/i]) and [b]Cheney[/b] ([i]the right side of my brain[/i]) to tell me what the hell is going on around the country and in the world, it's just you and me, kiddo! We're finally alone! [i]At last[/i]!
I'll do whatever it takes to keep [i][b]you[/b][/i], my [b]Queen Condi [/b]out of any investigative committee hearings (... [i]9/11 - Intelligence Failures - Iraq - Valerie Plame - the list goes on [/i]...). I can't be[i] all [/i]alone. I won't be [i]all [/i]alone. I get scared and Mommy and Poppy have my teddy-bear ([b]Rove[/b] wouldn't let me keep it because he said if it [i]"got out" [/i]... [i]well, you know [/i]...)!
Numero Uno.
P.S. You put on that cute little Myra Breckingridge outfit and I'll dress-up in my Top-Gun costume!
P.P.S. I'll send Laura off to Crawford, unless Rove & Cheney show-up and tell me not to!
P.P.P.S. Rumors are that Kerry is ahead in the polls! Is it true? Nobody's told me anything and I feel [i]so[/i] alone.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * [i]satire based on facts [/i]* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[b]Topical Sources:[/b]
Domestic issues lift Kerry in new poll, http://www.usatoday.com/news/...
Plugging Leaks: More details emerge on the Plame investigation, as Karl Rove's testimony is revealed for the first time, http://www.axisoflogic.com/ar...
Cheney Target of Criminal Investigation, http://www.alternet.org/story...
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| Bush Memo to Karl Rove: For God's Sake, Shut Them Up!!! |
| 03.06.04 (2:09 pm) [edit] |
[b]To:[/b] Karl Rove, Spin-Meister Extraordinaire ([i]We've Fucked-up This One[/i]!)
[b]From:[/b] Dubya, Numero Uno ([i]9/11 Victims Are My Props 'Cause I'm Emperor[/i]!)
[b]Subject:[/b] For God's Sake, [i]Shut Them Up[/i]!!!
[b]Geez ... [/b]I'm getting [i]damned sick and tired [/i]of all of these criticisms and complaints [i][u]everywhere[/u][/i] I go ... Even Gov. Ahnold Schwarzenegger,[i] didn't show-up [/i]at my campaign parties in California: [b]the bastard[/b]!!! (Hell, he didn't even have to foot the bill: [i]the American taxpayers footed the bill[/i]!!!)
Now, the NYC fire-fighters and families of the 9/11 victims are [i]bitching[/i] about our campaign ads ... [i]Shut them up[/i], Karl!!!
Get our buddies over at CBS News, WND, Limbaugh, Drudge and the [i]rest of the media[/i], to tell the American puppies that all of this [i]bitching [/i]is being [i]planted [/i]by the Democrats ... by that [i]scum-bag[/i]: John F. Kerry ... That should quiet down all of their moaning, complaining and whining about [i]our use of the 9/11 tragedy[/i], that we promised we wouldn't use, but have [i]no choice but to use[/i], since you don't want to use my fantastic [i]Top-Gun "Mission Accomplished!"[/i] photo-ops ... I still [i]don't [/i]understand, Karl, why you[i] won't [/i]use 'em-- So what, if [i]Iraq is a bloody mess [/i]... The American people [i]don't care [/i]... [b]They don't pay any attention [i]anyway[/i]!!![/b]
Numero Uno.
P.S. Pay-off some families of 9/11 victims to say that they [i]luv, luv, luv [/i]my campaign ads showing the 9/11 buildings falling, fire-fighters risking their lives, and the coffins of victims-- Hell, you'll be able to find [i]a few who will say anything that we tell 'em to say [/i]... After all, there are[i] nearly 3000 families [/i]you can troll through!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * [i]satire based on facts [/i]* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[b]Topical Sources:[/b]
He [Bush] molests the dead, Jimmy Breslin, http://www.newsday.com/news/c...,0,4815212.column?coll=ny
Bush's Backfiring Ad Campaign, Peter, Rothberg, The Nation, http://www.thenation.com/actn...
For now, governor [Schwarzenegger] supports Bush from a distance, http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/art...
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| Bush Memo to Karl Rove & Karen Hughes: Well Done, They're Really Buying It!!! |
| 03.04.04 (4:04 pm) [edit] |
[b]To:[/b] Karl Rove & Karen Hughes, Spin-Meisters Extraordinaires ([i]Tell 'Em God Wants ME, NUMERO UNO[/i]!)
[b]From:[/b] Dubya, Numero Uno ([i]I Know Where I'm Leading You, Even If You Don't Have A Clue[/i]!)
[b]Subject:[/b] Well Done, They're[i] Really [/i]Buying It!!!
"[b]Steady leadership in times of change[/b]" goes your [i]fantastic[/i] ads in which I say that "[i]I know where I'm leading[/i]" the country ... He he he ... [b]Well done, they're [i]really[/i] buying it!!! ...[/b]
Of course, the[i] three of us [/i]([i]and Cheney, Rice and Rumsfeld, too[/i]) all know that we [i]don't have a clue [/i]about what the hell is going to happen in [b]Iraq[/b]. Those god-damned Iraqis: [i]If only we could get 'em to stop fighting until after the November elections!!! [/i]... Hmmm ... Any [i]ideas[/i]???
Of course, the[i] three of us [/i]([i]and Cheney, Rice and Ashcroft, too[/i]) all know that we [i]don't have a clue [/i]about what the hell is going on with our own [b]national security[/b]. Those god-damned Liberals: [i]If only we could arrest those protesters who don't luv our Patriot Acts!!! [/i]... Hmmm ... Any[i] ideas[/i]???
Of course, the[i] three of us [/i]([i]and Cheney, Rice, Greenspan and Snow, too[/i]) all know that we [i]don't have a clue[/i] about what the hell to do about the [b]U.S. economic fiasco [/b]with the highest job losses since the Great Depression and the highest deficit-spending in our nation's history. Those god-damned Democrats: [i]If only we could blame the entire mess on them!!! [/i]... Hmmm ... Any [i]ideas[/i]???
Americans sure do[i] luv, luv, luv [/i]me, don't they, no matter[i] what [/i]I do ... This election is gonna be a [i]helluva lot easier [/i]than our 2000 victory because we've got it all [i]locked-up[/i] already!!! Just ask my [i]good buddy[/i], Walden O'Dell over at Diebold Electronic Election Systems ... Oh, and my buddies at CBS News, FOX News, WND, Limbaugh, Drudge, etc. and the rest of the [i]media heads [/i]who are [i]all on my side [/i]...
Numero Uno.
P.S. Tell those scum-bag family members of 9/11 victims who aren't thrilled with your[i] fantastic [/i]ads reminding them of [i]9/11-N-ME [/i]to [i]go to hell[/i]!!! They're just [i]jealous[/i] 'cause they're [i]not ME, ME, ME, NUMERO UNO[/i]!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * [i]satire based on facts [/i]* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[b]Topical Sources:[/b]
According To The GOP, If You Don't Support Bush, You're In Love With HITLER??? ... HA HA HA HA HA HA, http://www.tblog.com/template...
New Ad Blitz Says Bush is Steady. So is the Course of Gonorrhea, But They Can Both be Cured., http://www.tblog.com/template...
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| Bush Memo to Condi Rice: Let's Have A Gay-Bashing Party!!! |
| 03.03.04 (5:46 pm) [edit] |
[b]To:[/b] Condi Rice, National Security's Asshole ([i]My Own Little Myra Breckingridge[/i])
[b]From:[/b] Dubya, Numero Uno ([i]Closet Kinky Cross-Dresser: Didn't You Luv Me In My Top-Gun Outfit[/i]?)
[b]Subject:[/b] Let's Have A Gay-Bashing Party!!!
Things are getting [i]boring [/i]around here:[i] Let's have a gay-bashing party[/i]!!!
I'm [i]sick and tired [/i]of Iraq: Don't bother me with casualty statistics and the impending civil war ...[i] It's a bore[/i]!
I'm [i]sick and tired [/i]of the Economy: Don't bother me with joblessness, poverty, health care, homelessness and my record-level deficits and historically-highest whopping debts, debts and more debts ...[i] It's a bore[/i]!
I'm [i]sick and tired [/i]of answering questions about my Military Service in Vietnam: Don't bother me because, hell, um, I can't even remember where I was and what I was doing, other than [i]I had a helluva good, good, good time [/i]... [i]It's a bore[/i]!
Too much [i]serious[/i] talk! Not enough[i] fun, fun, fun[/i]! Of course my family is making a[i] helluva big, big, big fortune [/i]from all of my joy-rides in Iraq and throughout our fruited-plains! Why do you think I let them push me into this? But hell, [i]enough is enough[/i]! [i]It's party time[/i]!!!
Let's all [i]dress-up [/i]as red-necks and ride around the White House lawn in[i] beat-up red pick-up trucks [/i]and get John Ashcroft to find some gay fruits that we can bugger senseless and beat to a pulp!!! Won't that be[i] fun, fun, fun[/i]?!?
Numero Uno.
P.S. Condi, I'll [i]dress-up [/i]like General McArthur with a big baton and you [i]dress-up [/i]in that Myra Breckingridge costume: it [i]really, really, really[/i] turns me on!!!
P.P.S. Get Cheney to [i]dress-up [/i]like a Texan Small-Town Sheriff and Rove to [i]dress-up [/i]like Nazi SS Himmler or Goebbles or [i]whomever [/i]...
[b]Then we can all play [i]ourselves[/i]!!! He he he!!![/b]
* * * * * * * * * * * * * [i]satire based on facts [/i]* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[b]Topical Sources:[/b]
The Question of Marriage, http://www.commondreams.org/v...
Got no jobs? Pick on the gays, http://www.arkansasnews.com/a...
False Pretenses of Bush's Gay Marriage Reversal, http://www.misleader.org/dail...
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| Bush Memo to Karl Rove: John F. Kerry Sweeps 'Super Tuesday' ... FUCK!!! ... |
| 03.02.04 (5:52 pm) [edit] |
[b]To:[/b] Karl Rove, My Brain & America's Brain ([i]And Your Job Depends Upon It[/i]!!!)
[b]From:[/b] Dubya, Numero Uno ([i]Top-Gun, Reservist & Anything Else That I Tell 'Em I Am[/i]!!!)
[b]Subject:[/b] John F. Kerry Sweeps '[i]Super Tuesday[/i]' ... FUCK!!! ...
John F. Kerry sweeps [i]'Super Tuesday' [/i]and John Edwards is going to step aside. FUCK!!!
Naturally we hoped that Kerry would stumble and that the other Democratic [i]spoilers[/i] would succeed in [i]tearing him to shreds[/i] while we sit back and take the high-road by waging our wars abroad and reigning over a 'jobless recovery' here at home, in which fantastic profits are being reaped by our buddies while poor losers are no longer saddling corporations with the high costs of their employment, especially when we can pay such nice, low wages overseas.
I've got some ideas for [i]whipping[/i] Kerry's butt:
1. Tell 'em Kerry wasn't patriotic and didn't serve in Vietnam ... ([i]When Kerry says it was the other way around, accuse him of "flip-flopping" on his record[/i]!)
2. Tell 'em Kerry is weak on defense since he didn't vote for those whopping multi-hundreds-of-billion s-of-taxpayer-dollars for the Military Industrial Complex ... ([i]When Kerry says that these boondoggles don't make us any safer, aren't justifiable and don't even work properly, and that we have to bring defense spending under control, accuse him of "flip-flopping" on defense[/i]!)
3. Tell 'em Kerry will [i]spend, spend, spend [/i]like liberal scum-bags do on wasteful programs here at home ... ([i]When Kerry says my regime has racked-up the highest deficits in our nation's history and that we should take care of problems here at home, instead of destabilizing Iraq, pre-emptively invading other nations, and instead of spending, spending, spending on behalf of corporations and the rich, accuse him of "flip-flopping" on spending[/i]!)
See, it'll be a [i]piece-of-cake [/i]to beat that liberal traitor John F. Kerry!!!
Numero Uno.
P.S. If [i]none of that works[/i], is Osama bin Laden[i] ready to "spring"[/i] in September/October??? What about that [i]2nd attack upon America [/i]on Halloween???
* * * * * * * * * * * * *[i] satire based on facts [/i]* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[b]Topical Source:[/b]
"Kerry scores a knockout on ‘Super Tuesday’" on http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4...
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